Some seriously funny/ good stuff written by fellow posters on deucescracked. Pretty awesome. Also, good to see a british guy getting the highstakes yanks scared, gogoogogogogo _FullFlush_, Durrrr challenge ftw sir. Jamie, when u read this, can u organise a pissup with him please, i need a coach like him!


Firstly, if ur not using a HUD and ur playing 6m at the low-midstakes, get one. I can understand if ur playing highstakes in a small player pool, but if ur a bottom feeder like most of us, get holdem manager. Hopefully soonish ill get Roy from HEM/PartyPoker (when they finally pay me doh) and Insidepoker together and be able to giveaway a couple dozen copies via this blog. Anyway, this was pretty funny from DC.

This is my HUD.

There are many like it, but this one is MINE.

My HUD is my best friend. It is my life.

I must master it as I must master my life.

My HUD without me is useless. Without my HUD, I am useless.

I must read my HUD true.

I must read better than my enemy who is trying to read me.

I must exploit him before he exploits me. I will.

My HUD and myself know that what counts in war is not the plays we make,

the noise of our chips, nor the short-term losses.

We know it is the wins that count. We will win...

My HUD is human, even as I, because it is my life.

Thus, I will learn it as a brother.

I will learn its weaknesses, its strengths, its parts, its accessories,
its sights, and its optimum translucency.

I will ever guard it against the ravages of MS Windows and refresh problems.

I will keep my HUD clean and ready, even as I am clean and ready.

We will become part of each other. We will.

Before God I swear this creed.

My HUD and myself are the defenders of my bankroll.

We are the masters of our enemy.

We are the saviors of my life.

So be it, until there is no enemy, but PEACE.



Also, im reaching ridiculous clarity at the moment, and im not even using drugs. Admittedly im spewing a lot too, but more and more often im hitting this zone where i just dont think i can make a mistake against regs. Probably relying on hand-reading a little too much now, a few better regs are just realising that my river cr range really isnt that strong, so hopefully ill be able to get some thinner stuff through soon and get paaaiiiid. Anyway, i saw this which was awesome.


Malefiicus's guide to going robusto.

Do some exercises.

Play lag on a certain day of the week
Play like a nit on a different day of the week.
Play normal for the rest so you wr doesn't take a hit.
Wait at least 10 seconds before making any decision for 1 day per week.
Dissect ranges, get a piece of paper out, and write down ranges, realize that nobody folds on QJ7ss and have the paper knowledge to back it up.


I can't think of any more, the rum is getting to me. I suggest that you when playing lag pre, don't play lag post, that's something that tricks most regs 200NL and less fall for. When you play lag pre, play a bit nittier post, not super nitty or anything, but play smart (cbet correctly, etc). When you play nitty, play lag post, go crazy. That's how both styles are supposed to be.

Anyway, I'm drunk, so perhaps there's some wrong shit here, but I think it's good. I doubt anyone listens to this advice (and by listens, I guess I Mean listens and enacts. Most people will see this and never perform it, but if you do I guarentee you have a better chance at improving than someone who skips over it, a much better chance. Anyway, I'm going to have a bit more rum and party, because I live on an boat on a island. EVERY PERSON READING THIS POST CAN DO THE SAME. There are no limitations in life outside of self imposed limitations. Yeah, maybe you won't fuck a huge bitch, but you could. Maybe you won't move out of state, but you could. Maybe you won't sky dive, but you could. Perhaps you'll never do drugs, but you could. Maybe you'll never kill a man, but you could. All limitations in life are self imposed, so what I hope you all take from this is that you can do anything if you set your mind to it, and run good (joking, you could run bad, but if you're good and play a lot, it'll even itself out so quick that it won't matter).

We're poker players, we are lazy, but set your mind on it, set your heart on it, give your all to it, and you'll succeed at anything you attempt. End my rum induced rant.



Absolute quality and so true. Listened to ryan fees and read his guide to robusto on 2+2, this guy is probs the person that has affected my game the most indirectly out of anyone. His responses (when he's serious) to hands on 2+2 shows a different level of player, id expect huge things when he turns 21.

Should also state that im gonna start a coaching programme. Sometimes i get a little bored playing/games are bad and iv really enjoyed coaching my mate mondo from blonde. Im not really gonna do it for the money, ill probably charge a fairly small fee compared to others, but i want to do a full training package opposed to just X$/hr. Im thinking something like 10hour coaching programme, including a mix of live sessions/reviews/questionnaires/q+ "a"'s?/ etc. If anyone on here is interested, email me/pm on blonde/comment on here if u want to enquire. Im on the partyacademy coaches list and ill link some of my vids when party finally pull my finger out. Im probs best at advising ppl from 50-400nl, any higher and tbh, im not qualified to coach :).


Anyway, gonna end with a pretty funny hand. I CR the river here because im nearly 100% certain he has some missed spade draw on the river when he bets so much. Pretty funny he foldedwith $25 back :)

***** Hand History for Game 487379393 *****
$500.00 USD NL Texas Hold'em - Wednesday, February 25, 03:16:46 ET 2009
Table Nitrogen 18 (Real Money)
Seat 4 is the button
Seat 1: JammyJenny ( $502.00 USD )
Seat 2: oversleep ( $730.12 USD )
Seat 3: peeceee ( $242.50 USD )
Seat 4: sell4life ( $177.64 USD )
Seat 5: Mazaayub ( $0.00 USD )
Seat 6: flyguy01 ( $554.32 USD )
flyguy01 posts small blind [$2.50 USD].
JammyJenny posts big blind [$5.00 USD].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to JammyJenny [ 9h Jc ]
oversleep folds
peeceee folds
sell4life raises [$12.00 USD]
flyguy01 calls [$9.50 USD]
JammyJenny calls [$7.00 USD]
** Dealing Flop ** [ 3d, Kd, As ]
flyguy01 checks
JammyJenny checks
sell4life checks
** Dealing Turn ** [ 5s ]
flyguy01 bets [$18.00 USD]
JammyJenny raises [$60.00 USD]
sell4life calls [$60.00 USD]
flyguy01 folds
** Dealing River ** [ 3h ]
JammyJenny checks
sell4life bets [$80.00 USD]
JammyJenny raises [$160.00 USD]
sell4life folds
JammyJenny wins $80.00 USD
JammyJenny wins $331.00 USD from main pot