Dial-A-Dealer - Home & Corporate Poker

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Decembers over (nearly), merry xmas and happy new year to my faithful few. I am gonna start keeping ontop of this blog from now on, with updates at least once a week, purely to prevent the gatsby's and amatays taking over the world. Ty for the comments all, always sweet to see comments even if they are threatening me over my passion for field sports. doh.

Just got back from skiing with the folks, nice to get away for a bit. Didnt realise how much weight id put on tbh, jesus. 14 whole stone :) not bad for a previously skinny git. Skiing again has kinda kickstarted the excercise regime and iv not got a personal trainer to keep me more even in terms of regular excercise opposed to just hitting the gym hard for 2 weeks then not using it again for a month. Bought a pair of goggles for swimming, yes i look sexy in them, forgot how to do front crawl tbh, but after looking like a seal on special K for a brief length i found the rhythm again.

NHWWFU mentioned that he was gonna look for my macua result on thm. I wouldnt bother mate, iv made a decision to keep all (two of them) live ranking festival cashes anonymous in future. I have a few reasons, but cant be arsed to go into them here.

Been having a decent time lately, before i went away i had that 2nd in the betfair 55k and then won another comp on ipoker for a touch. Had another score last night in kunkuwaps signature tournament, i v rarely play mtt's but had just logged a nice session and fancied a break. I can honestly say from the start it felt like i had a lock. Havent had that feeling since july in a small luton comp. Its weird how your attitude changes over time. I know a lot of players, most of whom are far far better mtt players than i am ever likely to be, that have almost complete disregard for the monies at stake. They just play their A game. Its taken me a long long time to bring this willful nonchalence to the mid-stakes mtt's ($100-$300) and i suspect a great deal more time before i can play the same game higher. I just see the risk involved a lot which brings out the nit in me. Scared poker is obv so bad and i deffo dont play scared cash but in online mtt's i struggle to make the thin +EV more i should make sometimes. Im conqouring (sp?) this but damn im so fkin slow at it.

Not gonna make it to galway sadly, it was there or brighton and i fancy the latter. Gonna play every gukpt this year and im fedup with making excuses. About time i finalled ffs. Played like 8, day two'd 7 (big stacked twice) and cashed zero.

[ ] my endgame is good

Also, should mention, in insidepoker this month there is an example of a hand where i apparently flop the nutflush and think im drawing. Obv no matter how fantastic the editing etc there are always gonna be the odd typo's. Long way to go before it reaches a certain (ex?)- competitors levels though lol and its still the best magazine for the more serious player by a country mile.

We had a minor setback on the house regarding planning permission, which in truth im seriously fked off about but suzanne has pointed out what we might be able to do instead. Ill get some photos sorted soon and show you my poker log cabin in the back yard, its sooooooo sweet. Im getting a little pissed off now about not being able to more in but i guess this stuff happens at times. In other news im thinking about getting a dog vv soon. Not sure what yet. I quite fancy a springer or cocker but then i know they are not the easiest working dogs to train for a 1st time owned and i want my dog to be the absolute bollocks in the field. Might get a standard black lag but they are a large dog and my garden is not v big, which means id have to excercise it a tonne or they would do what comes naturally to labs and get fat. The last option is probably the most likely, either a patterdale terrier or a border terrier, both of which are the nuts for ratting and would be a bit of cheerful company in my cabin when the missus is working. Still deciding.

On that notes im going to give a brief description of a fantastic days shooting i had last month. Dont read if you are some idiot that doesnt realise i cow has to be slaughtered to eat roast beef or at least have some understanding of the british countryside, you just wouldnt get it.

I wake up early, too early infact. Its still very dark outside. But on a shoot day i can barely contain my excitement. I get up and put the kettle on, get some bacon on the grill and get washed and ready. Dammnit, my prize shooting shirt is in the dirty laundry. Nevermind, hand wash quickly and setup an ingenious way of mounting the hairdryer on the desk to facilitate speedy drying of said garment. I check the gun (cleaned and checked night before obv) and get all my kit together. Shit i didnt get cartridges, no worries, my old man said he would sort that out. Ring my mate Matt, one of my oldest and best freinds, who i got into shooting and fishing when we were both very young and who has spent many days out with me pissing about doing something in the field or stream. Hes on his way and will be here soon. On this shoot me and my father share a gun, as it is our 1st year on a new shoot we wanted to try it out before investing a substantial sum of money and finding out the guns were assholes/ the shoot not up to our standards (in terms of etiquette, not numbers or height of birds i should add). Matt is beating for us today along with another good mate of mine Paul, there is a rule where you must bring at least one beater per gun, and these two love it.

Once shirt is dry, get dressed, some nice moleskin trousers, fave shirt and i dont think ill wear a tie today. Look outside, looks sunny, i think ill wear an old barbour waitcoat i have opposed to the longsleeve jobbie, ill be roasting after walking a few miles. The boys turn up, almost simultaneously, i get them both a quick bacon sarnie and cup or tea while we natter for a bit and they have a fag. Right, all set, into pauls old pickup and we are off. We meet the rest of our party at a little cafe in hertfordshire, place looks so out of sorts with the rest of the street at 8am, dogs, kids, odd hats and cigars and even port being handed around while copious amounts of sausages and eggs are being wolfed. My Dad is there too, along with my youngest brother Daniel who's beating too. I dont get on with my dads wife, but ill always have time for Daniel, who has so much enthusiasm and class you wouldnt believe he was 10. After half hour or so and we move on to a nearby coachyard where we are given a talk. The beaters and guns are seperated and they are driven off while we are given a thorough talk about the day by the keeper here, Carl. This guy puts in sooooooooooo much effort into this 200 acre piece of land you would think he must be getting paid a fortune, but no, he doesnt earn a penny out of it, just loves what he does and loves the craic. He told me that with the rearing, trapping, clearing, hedge-laying, planting, feeding, shooting and planning he probably spends more time here than he does with his family and work combined. Damn dedicated and helped by his freind Dave, a wisened old boy who loves his shooting and is handy with a chainsaw these two are the people who make this happen. We are told that there are a few english partridges about on one of the lower fields so if you are in any doubt as to the identity do not shoot; since the loss of small fields and gamekeepers and the abundant use of fertilisers and pesticides and changes in farming practices post 1960 there has been a massive crash in english partridge numbers, nowadays except in areas where they are abundant, they are left by nearly all guns who marvel at them when in years gone by they would have shot them by (literally) the thousand. They are sometimes occasionally shot when mistaken for a redleg or french partridge, which is easy to rear in the uk (english partridge rearing is ridiculously difficult) and as such is bred and shot as one of the two primary gamebirds, the other being the pheasant. We are told that no ground game is to be shot and not to take woodcock as not many have been seen this year. Alltold, we setoff in a few landies and drive to the farm.

Me and my old man flip a coin for the 1st drive (we stand together and take it in turns drive to drive) which i win. Im shooting on the first drive, oh and look, im in the absolute money peg after we draw for numbers, 6. There are 10 guns, and normally the birds are driven over a large area over the guns who are spaced in a wide arc, from 1 to 10. As a result, the middling numbers tend to get the bulk of the sport. Normally, i would be chuffed to bits, but i havent shot since pidgeon in the summer and im definitely rusty, this could be embarassing. Im not disappointed, as we watch the army of beaters blank in well over 400 acres (that we cant shoot, but are allowed to walk) i can see them coming. Partridges. Fuck me they are high. And this morning, the gods have seen fit to make it the perfect day for flying a kite, its very very windy. As the beaters get closer a few take flight towards us, the first climbs like a rocket before powering over the gun to my left, which he misses cleanly with two barrels (behind it looked like). Then i see it, a wonderful, majestic cockl pheasant has got up from the bottom of the hedgerow, with the wind behind it it powers up aiming for the wood 1/4 mile behind. Me. Behind me, everyone in the line has seen this bird and christ almighty its going fast now, wings locked and curling in a wide cresent over my right shoulder, its about 55 yards high and appears to be moving at 19000 miles an hour. I tell myself to relax, get my footwork right, follow through the bird, pick it up on its tail, swing through till its about half a yard past its beak and shoot, but its no use. I miss cleanly with both barrels, the bird flies on giving me a two-fingered salute. A huge cheer erupts from the guns, i think ill be taking some stick for that later. Confidence shattered, i then miss another two partridge before the end of the drive. To say i was the butt of a few jokes is an understatement.

The next drive, daddy's turn!. This drive is in the woodland, a think belt of conifer trees drives the birds up to point where they catch the crosswing at the top of a hill, then bank right hard and slide along the guns. They are fking tough. Except my old man seems to be superman. He doesnt fking miss. Once of the pickers up (basically, man with dog strategically placed to collect and/or retrive fallen/wounded game) has to move dirctly behind us because of how well he is shooting. I dont recall any being wounded, most were cleanly shot, but a few needed the second barrel to finish. 14 birds after the drive. The bastard has shot 14 birds for about 20 cartridges, most of them absolute stonkers. wp gg sir. en garde.

We break for lunch, meet up with the boys, i get some more abuse, we have a nice little chinwag with my old man positively beaming and have a little glug on a cracking bottle of port a freind has brought along. mmmmmm. Then its back in the thick of it. I get a stunning peg on a partridge drive, named shitbottom. Said drive got its name owing to the fact dave got caught short once while ill and unfortunately couldnt batten down the hatches, unleashing his bowels upon the poor plantation while working in the wood oneday. LOL. I decide sod this, off comes the jacket, sleeves rolled up, ground flattened down a bit, legs moving a little. I shoot like a i shoot pidgeon, im not a driven shot, i dont have the luxury or shooting driven game 50 days a year. Im a poacher, a ducker, my experience is with trying to take the woodie crossing the hedgerow trying not to be spotted, poking and stabbing neat shots rather than the graceful elegant slow long swings of the best shots in the country. Fuck them, i want to start connecting. And there it is, the first covey, it busts over the hedgerow like a starburst, but i pick my bird well (not the lead bird, which is generally the lead male and who has the responsibility of the whole covey, calling them all together before nightfall to prevent predation and usually having the most experience) and drop it well out infront, having enough time to pickup a cracking bird high over my left shoulded. Get in, this could be better. Dad stuffs a couple more catridges (paper of course, no litter)in just in time for me to take out the best bird iv shot all year, a screaming cock pheatant crossing down the line, missed by two other guns. This is generally known as wiping someones eye (not to be confused with "in your eye" a poker term popularised by moorman, pab and the blondepoker boys). The drive continues and i am suprising myself, the early flurry has subsided but i still have some great shooting, finishing up with 7 partridge and 2 pheasants, for 11 shots, superb. Pride restored, i then help to pickup the birds, helping the wonderfully named heidi find a partridge a long way away. You might think she was a supermodel, well she probably is if you were a male, shorthaired springer spaniel, and watching her make the retrieve and come to her dog handler Peter was a marvel. Hes an old boy, clocking on for 75, but absolutely loves this and wouldnt miss a day ever i learn later.

We finish up the day in the bottom of a deep gulley, im watching my day shoot but these are immense birds that are probably a little too good for anyone in the gun line. They are too fast, too wily and too high for anyone to have a chance, and despite a couple of lovely high hens, the vast majority escape unscathed. Fantastic, there will be more for next time and next year :)

7 Comments:

Blogger Kevin Stevens said...

T’is a strange world indeed where people get upset about your field sports hobbies but say nothing about your hideous linkage to the Gooners website, Shame on you sir!

Good luck with the goal to crack a GUKPT this year, have you set yourself targets for online or do you find this counter productive?

3:13 PM  
Blogger Barry Carter said...

Boooo, shooting, boooooo, my meat is made of vegatables/i only eat animals that were killed for the leather/i only eat animals that asked to be killed for meat etc

Anyhooo, why do you want your live ranking cashes to be anonymous? Scared you will win the European POY or someink?

9:52 PM  
Blogger TheHat said...

shouldn't have worn the tie :-)

all the best for 09 Alex

9:12 AM  
Blogger Ukgatsby said...

Happy New Year
gl gl for 09

Paul

3:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's not the fact that you kill animals that bother people like me per se, it's the fact that you bang on about how much you enjoy it. It's the pleasure that you get out of it, it's the buzz that you get out of it, it's the way this makes you feel like a real man. This is what makes you:

1. A shithouse
2. A prick
3. A dude that obviously has an extremely tiny penis and killing animals obviously compensates for this by making you feel like a reeeeeeeaaaaaaaaal man.
4. A massive cunt.

Hope you suffer terrible luck in 2009

4:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And also how you make it sound like it's soooooo challengeing to kill an animal! WTF!! How is it challenging?! Like the bird has some kind of chance?!

Just flying along with it's mates minding it's own business, the next minute a bullet through the face courtesy of a prick named Alex who is shit at poker and shit at writing magazine articles but is having a heck of a day killing animals with his old man and a couple of other pricks.

You're a prick and a bell end.

Hope you go broke.

4:27 PM  
Blogger Adam Sharples said...

I see the animal rights lot got to you Alex! gl in 09 and in the GUKPT's...now get updating again!

10:57 PM  

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