fuck this game sometimes. this summer poker was soo fking easy and i was crushing whenever i played. october was a fking joke and november hasnt changed. im on a massive downswing atm and dont have any confidence at all, always thinking the nit is trying a move and making ridiculously spewy plays, in addition to lazy table selection and not putting in the hours i need to. Im going back down to 200nl until xmas at least, i want to get my confidence back up and start crushing again. Im pretty sure im the fish in the 500nl and 1knl games on betfair at the moment, i feel so mentally fragile and tilt soooooo fking easy. I KNOW! im meant to be a fking pro and i still tilt,terrible. Then i hear fking d'angelo spieling on something about imagine how much more money you would have if you had never tilted in your life, for me thats probs like 10X my net worth.

To top it off i have blown out some huge chances in online sunday donkaments lately. Yesterday that prize tit Iremarks managed to call 25% of his stakc off pre w 45s and obv bink A44. Then gives me the rubdown. Christ i wanna hit something.

Acutally looking forward to playing low, playing lag, not being adjusted to, getting paid and throwing around buyins with enough regularity that i can have an aggression edge. Not waiting for a fking hand in a ludicrously aggro 500nl game only for someone to cooler/outplay/outdraw me at every opportunity.

Off to ireland end of month, shooting in a week and skiing over Xmas w family and maybe in January with some degens. Fk i need a break and a result in the irish winter festival would be well handy.