Fucked by flushes by the fucking french.


So i returned from Paris yesterday, somewhat lighter in terms of cash. Im not going to go into detail but suffice to say this was the worst iv run for a long long time and i genuinely felt sick when i came home @ 8am Tuesday morning from the circle club.

Started off by playing the final event of the holdem series, a 100E nlhe tournament where i never got going, passed AJ on a AQJ flop in a fast structured comp (ffs alex) and then made a hero call with second pair. I then raced 98s against an ep limper who had 107s. Marvellous. SO i obviously went to play cash. Started playing 2/4 for a bit before i could get a seat in the 5/5 game and won a little. Was then transferred to the 5/5 game and thought about sitting down with a large stack before reconsidering. The money on the table was astronomical. There were plenty of guys with 4k+ stacks. WTF? So i decided to just do an omaha trick and go for a short-stack hit and run. I raise pre with AsQ, see a flop of KsJs10 and bet big, only to see the 9s hit the turn and frenchie set me in. Im not sure if it was a poor call or not, but i made it praying he had just a Q and thinking i had a redraw anyhow. This was the start of a weekend from hell.

I went with Dan and Rob, both of whom were not drinking. Marvellous. So where i had planned to just go out partying and playing a few comps i was now gonna be bored shitless and "forced" to play cash. Not good. After doing my money countless times in live games where i cannot get a read on donkeys hole cards i said to myself i would stop. So after losing the pot and realising that i would not be able to compete with these guys with yellow 1k chips, id have to go down. I dropped to the other game, got flushed by a Lebanese American called Gary when he cr me ai on a A45 board with 2 hearts and i called with AK for 600E. Dealer obliges, i go for a coffee. The aviation club has to be the poorest effort for a showpiece capital card club in Europe...and i havent even seen the competition. It is quite simple a dive. I was expecting the lavish interiors of a quality parisian casino. Instead we got a cardroom akin to a smoky Gutshot with far ruder service.

A change of scene was in order. We returned the next day but after the ass at the door found an issue with my lack of collar (despite several other players the previous evening not possessing said article) me and Rob went walkabout leaving Dan to donate. We found the cirle club just round the corner which was a total change of scene. This was a different class of joint and i was happy to stump up the 200E for the turbo tournie they had lined up. A shot while later and i was in the zone with lots of chips. I didnt know it, but there were only 10 players left when this oriental who was super aggy moved all-in on the button for a gazillion chips after the cutoff opened. I look down @ 1010 and reason that this stinks of AK and cutoff prolly passed and Ace. I make the call and he has AK praise the lord and mateyboy is telling me what a gr8 pass he made with AK before the dealer cracks it open and flops an ace. He went on to win it, but then that pot was for about 1/3 of the chips in play. Bit miffed as to why i called but i felt invincible.

So onto cash where i was seated next to robert Apple. I know the fish will read this so ill say this once and once only, you played good kid. I stacked one chappie after raising with Ks Js to 20, him re-raising me to 50 and with stacks of 600 i was always gonna peel one off. I flop Q109 rainbow and he check and i bet. Happy day the donk has QQ i tell myself. Turn comes a 3, sweet. He check raises me all-in i beat him to the pot. No accidents and suddenly im sitting on just over a grand.

I then flop 234 with A5 and lose to 33 when the guy thought he was trapping me. L.O.L. I hate french players. I then run a few bluffs before getting caught in a hand with the nut flush draw and great pot odds against Rob and some donk. He makes it ridiculously cheap for me and i miss, but i take a hit.

We then move to another table where i swear the game was made up of 2 of the finest live players iv seen, and 2 of the worst. Worse than the Luton donators. Yes that bad. 1st hand really showed me how the game was gonna go. Limp, limp, limp, asain makes it 30, call, call, i find AhK and make it 100, call fold fold. Flop comes 236 with 2 hearts and he checks, i move in and he calls with QQ. I ask him what he thought i had. Aces or Kings. From the donkeys mouth himself. I reload another 400 and hit a few hands before stacking donkey no.1 from Estonia or somewhere. I find 78 and se a cheap flop of 562 with 2 diamonds. Yum Yum. I lead out and get 2 callers, well aware that im not going to be fucked again by flushes. Turn comes perfect. An offsuit 4. Now lets see which fish has a 3 i tell myself. I lead for 100, fish makes it "tapis" (all-in in french, literally translated as "carpet" as in, thats all i have left) for 200 ish and i obv insta. Its so nice when they are drawing dead isnt it. He has A3, i resist the ure to ask what "you'll be alright" is in French and look at my nice 1k stack, i might get out of this i tell myself.

I then play my first pot with donkey no.2. I was affectianately calling him le bluffeur as he was atit all the time and wanter to leave @ about 5am so encouraged him to stay, oh how id rue that later. I raise with AJ, he calls, flop comes J75r and i bet big, like 100, he calls, turn comes an Ace happy hunnaka (sp?) i bet again and he dwells before passing. He want to know the river though and makes the dealer show. A K is shown and he groans whilst talking to his drunk m8 who also saw his hand. He would have had a str8. So ur calling my raises on the flop with Q10 no pair no draw then sir? LOL.

I then get outplayed by one chappy who plays a set superslow on a vv dangerous board getting me to call a 200 river bet with A high lol. Its now about 7am and i have about 1200E, not a huge amout and it doesnt cover my losses from the previous days cash but ok ill go @ 8 i tell myself, get a cab str8 to the Moulin Rouge shop where i have to purchase a gift for Zan's sister and then go home.

Rob has quit a winner after playing strong and getting tired. Im starting to lag.

I then find QQ in middle position. I raise to 40 to play as the stacks are deep and ppl love to play. 20 generally gets 8/10 players to play and this is a 2/4 game ffs. Donkey, short-stack and headphones chap call. Flop comes down Qs5h2s. Yeeha. They check to me, i bet 80 into a 200 pot. A nice weak lead as im hoping bluffer will make a move. He flat calls and Shortstack moves in for 150ish. I thought it was a legitimate raise and after headphones guy calls too i want to win this 600E pot right no or at least make flush draws get some shite odds. Im told i cannot re-raise, he has 4E less than the minimum re-raise. Me and donkey call. Turn comes down a 9h. Yesssss. Now how do you like money fish? All-in, Tapis, the whole shabang, whatever you call it. Im all-in for 800 more you great hulk of garlic eating mule. He looks at me and thinks. At least thats what i though he was doing before he aggressively slams 700E into the pot, which is now about 2.5kE. The biggest cash pot i have contended in a while, surpassing a £1.2k pot i won in Luton about 18 months ago. The river brings the Jh. Why do i not like this card, why when this guy jumps up in the air and starts shouting do i want to knock him out sparco? This man turns his cards over and shows, wait for it, Kh2h. I dont know where to begin. I am left reeling. Infact i am so disturbed i actually left my usual calm self, got his cards, put them next to the flop and said "you fucking idiot". Im embarassed,i know i was wrong, but sometimes you just lose control. Mateyboy shortstack starts whining about having had 55 in the hole. FO kid, you had 200 involved and were always behind. I show QQ and the table is utterly stunned. I apologise, say "Bravo" or some other multilingual expression that allows my to simultaneously be incredibly sarcastic and apologetic at the same time and go to the reception to ask for a cab. The day is bright and the cabby doesnt know where the hotel is. Fuck i hate Paris.