Havent posted for a while, been busy. Went to thanet, an island dont you know, even though i drove directly form london and dont recall oging over a single bridge but meh. Sold a chunk to the flushy track where im pretty sure im gonna be downgraded from oats to acorns due to 0/3 events. Ill give a full report as iv always wanted to do one and the 500nl game on betfair are sooooo bad atm. Cannot be arsed to be grammatically correct as iv just been spellchecking stuff for insidepoker and PKR's stacked magazine and it jarrs me to waste time with the mundane things in life. I apologise in advance for anything bad i say about anyone, but i want to say it as i saw it.

So Thanet, 1.2h drive away and v pleasant in my cobweb-infested saxo, doing a tasty 110 in bright sunshine. Did a bit of a naughty and stayed up till 4am night b4 as games were for once OK. Casino is big, like all the G's and actually looked to be run really well, with decent service and all the little details (things like the toiltets being super-clean, barmaids not hanging around for tips etc) were all good. These things please me so i was kinda excited from the off. Also having had flushy, dubai and jp stake me obv gives the confidence a boost, i talk a good tournament game........
Actually got in as an alternate 1 minute late despite being in the joint at 1pm. thats organisation for you. Table was pretty ugly looking, with Woody Deck and that crazy middle-eastern looking 50yo guy that came close to a bracelet on my table. Had flanders and some guy wearing a celebpoker t-shirt too, who were (sorry) obviously the marks from my perspective. Couple of weaktight middle-aged guys and we were in business. Played quiet for about 30 mins just gauging table when it became clear eastern guy that came close to a bracelet was a donkey, like properly fundamentally terrible. So obv i want to get involved. Guy raises in MP to 4X @ 25/50 and i defend Ah9o, purely with the intention of letting him inflate the pot so i can bet big on turn/river. Flop is something good like J9h7h. I check/raise his cbet from 400 to 1k, as i have pretty much the nuts v him. He snaps without thought. The turn is a 10h. In hindsight i shd probs CR again v this numpty but i barrel and he shoves. LOL. So much for that plan. He shows a 10s after i pass. outplayed again fml. I then proceed to watch woody flop sets 2 times in 15 minutes and (no lie) play them pretty shitly the 1st time v a nit and terribly the second. I nick a few more w cbet, boring stuff to get back to 10k then table breaks.

New table looks yummy! no-one i recognise! no-one i know! weeeeeeeeee. I elect for sitting back and building a little image at 1st, as im on table 5 so wont be broken for ages. Celebpoker guy has moved to my table and by now i realise hes not bad at all, infact hes pretty decent. Do have a couple of eggs on my table and a couple of weak-tights but the rest seem abc tag, which i figure will be nice and fun to play with. I pootle around for a bit before getting involved. I raise A8o from the co with 1 limper. BB calls and limper folds. Wasnt too bothered as bb defended a whole heap. Flop of 235 and BB donks into me, playing 7k with 800 in the pot, he bets like 550. Im playing 9k and raise to 1500. He folds. We rinse and repeat the almost exact same hand the next time its his BB and i have K10 on a 679 board. Image getting a little naughty when i suddenly turn into a card-rack in level 5. I raise twice v limpers and get one through and get c/r'd and have to fold the second time.

Then find AA v celebpokers utg+1 open. We have played half a dozen already where he showed a bluff and i returned the favour later (but didnt show) and he has been fairly reckless, letting pots get too big oop and tending to valuetown himself, luckily he's been getting away with it coz ppl are viewing him as recklessly aggro and calling him light, adjusting improperly. Im on button and flat when its folded round. Flop 226 weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. He bets out on the flop and i calls. The turn is a Jack and he re-checks his hole cards and check/raises me from 1800 to 4200 playing 17k effectives. I flat as i have this locked and i really really want him to fire a huge bluff on the river. He should be able to do this as i reason he should have an idea what most live players ranges are now. Anyway the river brings a 2 (yeah yeah i know, run good much etc etc) and he checks. Sigh, fml, he was bluffing etc etc. Anyway i go for 1/2 pot and he time-down folds saving face etcetc. This gets me going a bit.

Then steal a little, get it in my eye a bit more when two new guys arrive, in the form of Jamie Brown and Ian Woodley. Ian is a complete cock at the table imo and i have a lot of banter with him, usually is degenerates but that day he was O.K. I like him off the table but hes a twat on it, guess it works for him though. Jamie brown sits down and immediately im glad hes two to my right. Boy has a bit of class about him and was fairly pleasant, between him, my little welsh mate (totally forgot ur name m8 but u were quality) and the guy two to my right who i played with the entire time (sorry forgot ur name too but vwp son) we had a nice bit of banter. Two to my right were fairly abc (v me anyway! dirty bluff w Q8s m8, ill remember that!) and didnt get out of line at all. Which basically meant i was letting jamie abuse his mp/lp opens for a while. Then i get kings like a true live nit. Luckily my image was active and i think he knew i was a dodgy fukr coz i 3b KK on the button (24k eff) and he min 4bets me from like 2.4 to 5.2. Not entirely sure why but i shoved after some thought. Baaad play but i thought at the time he had to have a pretty big hand. This got me over 30k for the 1st time. I then knock out two shortstacked players in quick succession, with AA v JJ and JJ v 1010 aipf. I squeeze Q8s after celebpoker opens and both tight guys flat, which gets through. Now on 45.

Then i witness the sickest hand iv seen in a while, Ian woodley (26k) opens in late position, welsh kid who has played super tight and really well the whole time repops playing 16k to about 3500 from woodleys 1100 open. Woodley calls. Flop is J42h. Kid checks, woodley bets 5k, kid jams remaining stack (approx 8k). Woodley obv has nothing and talks on and on for ages. "Iv got nothing at the moment but ur in trouble, iv got you surrounded, backdoor everything" deffo the best line iv heard from him at the poker table :) He then calls with K10hh with no pair no draw and spikes a king on the river. Sickening. Obv i abuse him a lot and really want to get involved w him as we are both pretty deep, lack of position doesnt matter too much as he is spew.

Next hand he small raise my bb. I defend HU w K9s. Flop K4c5c, i check call 1k into 1.6. Turn is Qs and we check check. River is a 9 and i go for a 2.4k vbet. He pretty much insta raises shoving a load of purples, not sure but a biggish overbet. Doenst really addup that much, looks like nuts or air and obv i call to be told J high. Jamie then tells me he thought i would have snapped, sigh, feel like a legend to be told im a noob :)

Little later and a 40yo woman dressed to the 9's w fake tan and loads of jewellery sits down. ty lord. She min reraises my button open in the BB and obv i have to call w K9s as her range is so sexily defined, even if her figure is not. I call and continue to run like god, flopping KK8. she check calls me 2 streets and sighs and i peak in uncontollable sexiness at 75k, cl at the time w 50 left i think. Q table breaks. I have a much tougher table for the 1st time in the day, w penly, grech, lawrence and couple of other faces, in addition to paul mcintyre (slightly crazy madman, picks up KK 6 times in 2 orbits then runs the biggest bluff of the day v penly and gets it through) and my mate from 2nd table.

I make a few bad-timed moves/ get ppl hit v me (riverdave u fish) when most difficult hand comes for me given timing/ other stuff. Iv been relatively quiet then get outplayed by joanna who crushes me by shoving a couple of times. Then i find AKs utg+1 after joanna limps. Now jonathan Gale who has just won a huge pot and has about 90k 3bets me from 3600 to 10k. Im playing 60k at start of hand. All folded round and this is a toughie. 30 mins left on day 1 clock and i feel he is making a play at me, but we have no history and my image is cleanish. I shd probs fold as im gonna have to c/f near 60% of flops. But i call like a tard and check/fold a 1063 board. Then dwincle a little and get it in my eye to finish with 44k ish, plenty for day two.

Arrive late on day two, by about 45mins. wp alex. must stop drinking. feel pretty good though, even if i look rough. Table is tough, i get jiggy with liv boeree on one hand but the rest of the time i get priced into ugly calls Q10 v JJ of shorty/ get it stuck in my eye by Praz/Jamie/ glasses man or just have to giveup on wet boards where i cant cbet oop. Dwindle to 24k when Jamie opens utg and i shove AK, he calls and his 22 hits a set, K on the river too little too late. Ah well, had a good run. Getting a little frustrating now though. played 9 of these now, made day two 8 times but havent cashed once, what am i doing wrong? not sure, should probs have asked nick "run like god" persaud when he was pished, nvmind, ill try again soon.

long time no post. been v busy w trips to Luton blonde bash where i got messed and bratislava for JR's stag do, which was even messier. I have this vision of me buying some russian called Ivan a shot in a boat nightclub, where he then throws up all over the bar and my shoes before knocking back another. stayed with flushy and raaby who were both pretty tame. good fun though, again again!

House is coming along brilliantly, completely gutted the inside and bought a nice log cabin for my poker den in the garden, only 4m*5m but its gonna be a little beauty, obv humongous flatscreen for the boys to watch the footy on. plans have gone through so now just tidying up. i will never take down another ceiling again, period, i hate the disgusting mess the crap up there makes of you.

poker been ok, didnt hit september target due to being a moron and having 3 weekends off, which is when i should be making hay. cleared 19k in the end. My badbeat mentor strummer has been kind enough to see i am killing and has let me do whatever i want in reason, giving me funds and letting me get on with it. Once i clear 100k profit the cut goes to a more player freindly 70/30 (+ ridic goodrb deal obv). This week has been tumultuous, the figures coming in at +1, +2.2, +.6, -3.6, +1.4, -2.5, +5.6 on the cash on betfair. I dropped about 600 on tilt and just done another bit on stars, but ok week in all. Had a shot at doing something in a tournie also, coming 14th or so in betfair 55k, obv losing q QQ>A5 for podium stack. never mind, hate the fucking things anyway. Oh, also got to get a belated brag in. the 2.5 ipoker last month that i coached Kingjackson through to 4th in has finally come through. The boy was sick ul to finish 4th for 125k (lost 2*cl pot w QQ<77ai pre) but still, what a score. Ship the 10k gratitude fee from my german freind! weeeeee. so i wont see a penny of that then as the missus has earmarked the lot for the house sigh.

Ill leave you with some of the biggest and craziest hands, and ill show Nutmegs bluff at the end coz he was whining at me to update today. Im getting callled so light nowadays that i am logging more nit sessions, playing something like 17/14/4 and getting ridic action postflop, but its not my natural style to be so selective and i dont like it, so might need a bit of TAG coaching to firm up second gear. Ill ask around, but sadly all my decent winning freind players are 25/20 minimum. Maybe ill pay some yank on DC a few quid to see how to be a nit. hmmmm, or not.


Hand 1

***** Hand History for Game 421616168 *****
$500.00 USD NL Texas Hold'em - Thursday, October 02, 06:02:46 ET 2008
Table Nitrogen 91 (Real Money)
Seat 6 is the button
Seat 1: zidane88 ( $495.00 USD )
Seat 3: JammyJenny ( $1874.81 USD )
Seat 4: Katana ( $278.75 USD )
Seat 6: play2kill ( $980.45 USD )
zidane88 posts small blind [$2.50 USD].
JammyJenny posts big blind [$5.00 USD].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to JammyJenny [ Th Tc ]
Katana folds
play2kill raises [$17.50 USD]
zidane88 folds
JammyJenny raises [$50.00 USD]
play2kill calls [$37.50 USD]
** Dealing Flop ** [ 9c, 9d, 7h ]
JammyJenny bets [$80.00 USD]
play2kill calls [$80.00 USD]
** Dealing Turn ** [ 3c ]
JammyJenny checks
play2kill bets [$180.00 USD]
JammyJenny calls [$180.00 USD]
** Dealing River ** [ 6s ]
JammyJenny checks
play2kill bets [$665.45 USD]
JammyJenny calls [$665.45 USD]
JammyJenny shows [Th, Tc ]
play2kill shows [9s, Ah ]
play2kill wins $1961.40 USD from main pot

Loads of history with this guy, who understands that deep i need a huge hand to call. He pretty much insta shipped the river and i played like a mofo tool and levelled myself. I didnt think about how wide his calling range was deep(hes pretty tight)
and thought the fact he can bluff+ he hardly ever has a nine/33/66 means that its a call as he wont valueshove AA here coz hes not good enough tbh (which would be vvvv good btw). In all i fked up, never mind.


Hand 2.

***** Hand History for Game 423565257 *****
$500.00 USD NL Texas Hold'em - Monday, October 06, 12:47:18 ET 2008
Table Nitrogen 156 (Real Money)
Seat 1 is the button
Seat 1: JammyJenny ( $1423.19 USD )
Seat 2: ALLaddINN ( $1169.76 USD )
Seat 3: GraveDiggah ( $698.40 USD )
Seat 4: fitzjim ( $483.67 USD )
Seat 5: ISickOOsicK ( $556.50 USD )
ALLaddINN posts small blind [$2.50 USD].
GraveDiggah posts big blind [$5.00 USD].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to JammyJenny [ 7h 7d ]
fitzjim calls [$5.00 USD]
ISickOOsicK folds
JammyJenny raises [$22.50 USD]
ALLaddINN folds
GraveDiggah calls [$17.50 USD]
fitzjim folds
** Dealing Flop ** [ 7c, Th, Ac ]
GraveDiggah checks
JammyJenny bets [$40.00 USD]
GraveDiggah raises [$140.00 USD]
JammyJenny raises [$260.00 USD]
GraveDiggah raises [$535.90 USD]
JammyJenny calls [$375.90 USD]
JammyJenny shows [7h, 7d ]
GraveDiggah shows [Ad, Td ]
** Dealing Turn ** [ Tc ]
** Dealing River ** [ 3d ]
GraveDiggah wins $1401.30 USD from main pot


ok meh its a cooler and i lose but w/e i know i have the nuts and its sooooooooooooooooooooooooo important to get it in on the flop here v a solid TAG (who always 3b AA pre and 99% of the time 1010 too) to stop him shutting down if a scare card hits/ not playing his draws so laggro on turn with 1 card to come. pretty std obv but add up these hands when a scare card drops and the pot doesnt get as big and u lose tonnnes by slowplaying on a wet board.

Hand 3.

***** Hand History for Game 422545889 *****
$500.00 USD NL Texas Hold'em - Friday, October 03, 11:17:00 ET 2008
Table Nitrogen 147 (Real Money)
Seat 6 is the button
Seat 1: Gabian ( $701.14 USD )
Seat 2: Helstokkjr ( $500.00 USD )
Seat 3: Poluchka ( $149.50 USD )
Seat 4: Nestor ( $922.55 USD )
Seat 5: stokerus ( $453.00 USD )
Seat 6: JammyJenny ( $646.40 USD )
Gabian posts small blind [$2.50 USD].
Helstokkjr posts big blind [$5.00 USD].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to JammyJenny [ As Ks ]
Poluchka folds
Nestor folds
stokerus calls [$5.00 USD]
JammyJenny raises [$22.50 USD]
Gabian raises [$75.00 USD]
Helstokkjr folds
stokerus folds
JammyJenny raises [$137.50 USD]
Gabian calls [$82.50 USD]
** Dealing Flop ** [ 4s, 5h, 2c ]
Gabian checks
JammyJenny bets [$199.00 USD]
Gabian raises [$541.14 USD]
JammyJenny calls [$287.40 USD]
Gabian wins $54.74 USD
Gabian shows [Tc, Ts ]
JammyJenny shows [As, Ks ]
** Dealing Turn ** [ Jc ]
** Dealing River ** [ 2d ]
Gabian wins $1299.80 USD from main pot


Pretty funny hand coz i think villain plays like a tard tbh. My range has him totally crushed (i never have 99 here, why would i run the risk of getting blown off the pot pre) and when i do have AK his equity sucks. pretty spew gabian sir. I small 4b pre just to balance all of my 4b range well.

Hand 4.

***** Hand History for Game 423570765 *****
$500.00 USD NL Texas Hold'em - Monday, October 06, 01:10:07 ET 2008
Table Nitrogen 36 (Real Money)
Seat 6 is the button
Seat 1: cockroach1 ( $0.00 USD )
Seat 2: Mahnzis ( $647.61 USD )
Seat 3: RibePigekor ( $862.78 USD )
Seat 4: Nutmeg ( $881.35 USD )
Seat 5: ALLaddINN ( $1288.36 USD )
Seat 6: JammyJenny ( $620.35 USD )
Mahnzis posts small blind [$2.50 USD].
RibePigekor posts big blind [$5.00 USD].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to JammyJenny [ 8d 5d ]
Nutmeg raises [$13.12 USD]
ALLaddINN folds
JammyJenny calls [$13.12 USD]
Mahnzis folds
RibePigekor raises [$49.98 USD]
Nutmeg folds
JammyJenny calls [$41.86 USD]
** Dealing Flop ** [ Tc, Jh, 7h ]
RibePigekor bets [$94.18 USD]
JammyJenny raises [$240.00 USD]
RibePigekor calls [$145.82 USD]
** Dealing Turn ** [ 3d ]
RibePigekor checks
JammyJenny bets [$325.37 USD]
RibePigekor calls [$325.37 USD]
RibePigekor shows [Qd, Qc ]
JammyJenny shows [8d, 5d ]
** Dealing River ** [ 4s ]
RibePigekor wins $1253.32 USD from main pot


yeah this is pretty spewy, but i like it. Villain is a tight player, i thought he was good but obv not so sure now (got to insult them when they beat u obv). V a thinking player they fold the flop all day long as my value raises have QQ by the balls. i fked the betsizing though, should raised less to make it a psh on the turn. Villain only 3b 3% of all hands, which means he doesnt squeeze JJ/1010, wheras my range is still wide open and incorporates the lot. ah well, n1 son.

Hand 5.

***** Hand History for Game 423568122 *****
$500.00 USD NL Texas Hold'em - Monday, October 06, 12:58:51 ET 2008
Table Nitrogen 12 (Real Money)
Seat 3 is the button
Seat 1: Nutmeg ( $1594.52 USD )
Seat 3: JammyJenny ( $2010.66 USD )
Seat 5: ISickOOsicK ( $502.50 USD )
Seat 6: ALLaddINN ( $1299.15 USD )
ISickOOsicK posts small blind [$2.50 USD].
ALLaddINN posts big blind [$5.00 USD].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to JammyJenny [ Qs Kh ]
Nutmeg raises [$14.00 USD]
JammyJenny raises [$49.50 USD]
ISickOOsicK folds
ALLaddINN folds
Nutmeg calls [$35.50 USD]
** Dealing Flop ** [ 5h, 6d, 6h ]
Nutmeg checks
JammyJenny bets [$100.00 USD]
Nutmeg calls [$100.00 USD]
** Dealing Turn ** [ Kd ]
Nutmeg bets [$150.00 USD]
JammyJenny calls [$150.00 USD]
** Dealing River ** [ Th ]
Nutmeg bets [$420.00 USD]
JammyJenny calls [$420.00 USD]
Nutmeg shows [4d, 3d ]
JammyJenny shows [Qs, Kh ]
JammyJenny wins $1444.50 USD from main pot


oh nutmeg. this guy is imo very variable, sometimes lag, sometimes lap, but always loose. so whe he calls my 3bets oop deep all the time i elect to smash the flop and make the pots bigger so i can bet more later and use my pos it ion. as it is he does the hard work for me, ship it puppy!