Been fishing.

Target achieved. Now that wasnt too hard was it. IF only i could display the discipline iv had in my cash games the last 4 days all the time poker would be a piece of cake. Whilst on the subject, congrats to Jeff 'Jaffacake' from blonde who took down the Barcelona heads up comp, but lets be honest, its only 7 HU games, how hard can that be? :) Also, big congratulations to Jen Mason who took down the Green Joker Poker main event in Ireland last weekend. A cracking result in a top drawer comp.

Played Luton last night, felt really comfortable till i had an ego moment where i called my healthy stack off with AK. The lady had AA (which wasnt even a suprise, in retrospect the only hand im in any shape against at all is ladies) and despite hitting a K on the flop i didnt perform a miracle suckout. A bit peeved really at the £50 + £50 is a comp i wuite like, a nice deep structure allows you to play enough hands to get into peoples heads a bit. Shame i had cerebralflatulus for about 1 minute which cost me dear. However, in a newly found time is money frame of mind, i shook a few hands, apologised to one person and left abruptly.

Back home, went online for 3 hours and cleared £450 profit. I can deal with that. One absolute peach of a hand. Just as i was about to stop open limping with Axs(where 5 < x < 10) when i flop the nut flush and get paid off by top 2 pair and the (unlucky mate) king high flush. Happy days indeed.

Its rabbit season now and as most of the femal does have had their 1st litter, the tender 3/4 grown bunnies are now out in abundance. Im off out now to zero in the rifle and take it out this evening for a nice walk, assuming the rain stops.

Christ its hard work. Im trying very hard to make the most of the limited funds i have online, some of my own and some from trading schemes. But every time i stack someone i run into a big hand or some donk i cant lose, regardless of my betting pattern. Im finding it difficult to identify the idiots, as the smarter players who i know try pulling all sorts of shit, also have their choice moments.

I really enjoyed putting a pretty sick beat on a guy today, made me feel like i was one of their own. I am quietly confident a parcel-force van is going to arrive tomorrow with a t-shirt for me. It will read, "Congratulations, ur a grade A moron, honoury member, pleased to have you in our club".

Typical hand from this evening. Holding AK on the button i get the standard 5 limpers. I make it $8, 1 caller. Flop comes A52. My notes say this guy raises with any pair so set is unlikely. He bets, i raise, he goes all-in i give it the mementary fuckit i dont care anymore. He has 52 but running 66 saves the day, oh how we laughed.

Interestingly, and i know how periodically i have moments of clarity but a lot of the time its just a big blurr, im not sure if im actually any good anymore. Theres a big part of my brain that "knows" i never was. Theres so much luck, outdrawing, donkeys, rake, better players raping you...............that these low stakes cash games feel like a real grind. Im not going to get into an online poker is rigged debate but sometimes, just sometimes, you think ur playing an odd game. What level of thinking should you apply to low stakes cash games?

Do our opponents give scant regard to the holdings you could have? Erm, well, some of them do and some of them dont. Ok, so pay more attention to the tables and identify the mugs quicker. But at these stakes thats time consuming and difficult. Mugs dont hang about very long anyhow. Oh how John Vorghaus's Killer Poker Online needs updating. It really is like reading the magna carta. He advises looking for players who are playing on 2 or more tables, then nicking their blinds. ROFL. Sorry mate, most of my opponents are playing on 4-6 tables and nicking my blinds with disgusting regularity. Does their being involved in a big pot on their other table make it less likely they will call down my big bluffs. Does it fuck. A2 on an AKQ89 4 flush board for $25, no problem, they call.

So if our opponents do think about our holdings, should we bluff them more often? Obviously yes. But even opponents that think about your holdings call you thin a lot of the time. Construct ur lie better, make your bets make "sense". Ok, tried that tonight to no avail. Picking on the players who have it in them to fold i hunt with scare cards and position. Doesnt work. Some of these cunts semi-bluff you know. Then, after they have fired 2 cont bet bullets with sweet fa they check their made nut flush on the end praying some utter moron with 3rd pair will bet big ;so they can move OTT in an "good god im good at this" kinda way. Im that moron.

So if our opponents dont care about our holdings, how should that affect our game. Tighten up, play abc, value bet, slowplay, use tried and tested tournament techniques for cash game utility. Bollocks to that. You see, im finding most of the winning players iv got book on are actually weak passive. Seriously, weak passive is a winning form of poker, which must mean that i am using such mindless aggression that they are secretly forming a conglomerate aimed at buying Japan with my losses. Not that my losses are great, but its a far flung cry from my 2/4 heyday where the money would just (literally) roll in. Do these fucks just not care about spunking a £50 or £100 on a Sunday night? It certainly seems so.

This week im setting myself a target, accomplishable and testing. Im going to make £400 from poker this week. Purely from online cash games and im only going to log 15 table hours. Im going to multi-table 4 as iv decided thats my optimum outlay. Im going to play scientific poker, thats my new style. Ill have Dan Harrington on my shoulder and my Maths tutor on my right. Trying my best to make the best decision. Being streamlined and making efficient bets. Im feeling better already. Its remarkable how therapeutic this blog is, i remember when flopping 2 pair against Seb in the 10p/20p game round Oli's work was cause for celebration, you were getting paid baby :) Nowadays i love poker, but i think possibly for the wrong reasons. Unfortunately im stubborn and addictive in nature and have invested massive amounts of time, money and energy into this game. Im just not sure im progressing. Ah well, nothing worth celebrating is ever easy to achieve right? The rough journey makes the bed feel softer? I sure hope so, everywhere i look some 22 year old online pro has made another 40 grand here, 100 grand there. So, ABC poker with some mild brain power, it cant be that hard can it. I think im going mad.

Blind Defence

Im currently doing a lot of grinding online, the usual cash games bollox applies but iv worked out my strengths and (more importantly) weaknesses. Im good at extracting full value from hands. Good at telling how strong my opponent is and whether another continuation bet on the turn is gonna lose him. Im bad at making big big calls (usually all-in fest's) when all my opponents ever turn over is the immortal nuts - usually, and im by no means being all big headed, its because the lucky asshole has improved on the turn and i cannot see how i am possibly losing. For example, board comes Ac 2c 5h and i raised preflop with AsKs. He calls my bet on the flop, then some mindless 9 comes on the turn and he check raises me all-in. More often than not he has hit this 9 to give him 2 pair. Or when some donkey calls a check raise for 1/3 of his stack with a gutshot, although this i can live with. Im thinking long-term nowadays, short term isnt bothering me so much.

Trying to lose the hanit of throwing away good money, opponents at this level dont know how to bluff very well so why pay them off. As it turns out, my bluffs are working with reasonable success. You need to find an opponents pain threshold and compare it with the price you give urself. For my rockier opponents, im finding 2/3 pot sized bluffs work well. The looser opponents call me too thin to make any bluff worthwhile.

But the main point i want to make today is blind defence. As most of you know, i adore short-handed cash game poker. Simply enabling yourself to play more pots 'should' mean that the more experienced, disciplined and learned players can make more money here than in a full ring game which advocates a rockfest strategy most of the time. One thing that happens a lot is you steal other ppl's blinds, and they in turn steal yours. For the most part, i wont tolerate a table where a strong opponent has his button on my BB. Its too much like hard work. But in the rare instances where tabel selection dictates that you must put up with it to break the 3 fish present, you have to work out 'proper' defence.

So here goes, 'broke' alex's blind defence strategy. Mix it up a lot. Whenever i get specific combinations of cards, im coming straight over the top of them. If they make it $4, ill make it $12. I usually assign face cards a value of 10 and the other cards their respective number. Whenever i get a combined score of 9 i re-raise preflop. This keeps them on their toes but is a very high risk/low gain strategy.

Most of the time ill just fold (say 60%) unless he takes the piss.

The rest of the time ill call and see flops. This is where the fun starts, but it works better when you have a 1/2 stack as then the smarter opponents realise they have no implied odds for any draws they might have. If the pot is $8 preflop, THE STRONGEST PLAY IN TERMS OR RISK REWARD is to lead out here. Lead out regardless of your hand on a non-ace board with any 2 cards for the full pot. This shows immense strength and is rarely used. But in terms of risk reward from the Big blind, it is strong.

The second strongest play (but again is very risky) is to check raise any Face,x,x flop. Knowing as we do that most hands miss most flops, he has to be holding this face card in order call.
But (sadly) the check raise bluff has become very well-used and good players are snapping it off.

Failing everything, find a new table full of weak passive players that fold to your every bet. Havent seen one of those in a very long time.....................

Down, but never out.

So despite remeniscing (cant be arsed to spell-check) this weekend over a once healthy bankroll now lost, i feel more immersed in the world of poker than ever before. On Wednesday last week Jamie from BlueSQ (top boy) gave me a call asking if i wanted to help out with the updates down in Brighton for the GUKPT. Never one to turn down an offer, i immediately said yes. After my failed job interview a few months ago, i thought this might be an opportunity to redevelop a relationship with BlueSQ. So I get down to Brighton after agreeing a nominal fee and marvellous, between the holiday inn and the casino i lose my wallet. 6 months ago this would be of some concern, but with my card max'd out and only a hundred quid in it i wasnt too bothered. Until i tried getting into the casino. Remarkably, you need ID to enter UK Casino's. After getting worked up i realised i had been a lucky boy, as my passport was still in my 'secret' rucksack pocket. Open sesamae!

Entering the casino i saw loads of ppl i havent seen in ages and met the BlueSQ lads, being headed by Jonathan Raab. A really nice guy with an obvious passion for poker. Peter was the guy who i would be updating with and we soon came to a very agreeable situation, id do all the interesting player interviews and jovial bollox and he could do the corporate side. Get in. Now this was the 1st time id ever done anything of this sort and was a little hesitant, as i know how often i drop in random fucks/cunts/pricks to my sentances. I made sure my typing hands were on their best behaviour and on the 1st day (from 4pm to 3pm) did some nice posts towards the end. As always, there was ridiculous drinking to be had, but i went easy on day one, hoping to make an ok impression.

On day 2 Jamie came down and we had a quality time. I told Peter id be heading out early that night to get properly on it, originally i was meeting Flushy and Jamie to go clubbing, but i ended up rolling craps for the two degenerates in the Rendezvous.

On Day three id met just about everyone in the casino, from Barry Neville buying ludicrous sums of Champagne to Paul Webb telling me the in's and outs of modern punters. I never realised how hard it was to get a bet on! The poker witnessed was very ABC for a long time, with the better players abusing the bubble payout massively. Flushy and Nick Peruad are two players that really rose to the mantle.

Out on the lash again this night, id realised that past about 3pm i really cannot work anymore and Mike, Simon, Peter and myself went for a few quickies. Mike in particular is an absolute leg-end, instantly feeling at one with nature on the beach, im saying no more.

On Sunday, i was now feeling the effects of work and desperate to play poker, this was now the 4th night 'on it' and i was beginning to lag. Dave Smith emerged as the eventual winner although if Roberto hadnt decided to try and bluff the proverbial calling station that was Albert from the VIC maybe the Welsh boys would have had another celebration lined up.

So a cracking weekend all in all, you can see the updates here http://www.grosvenorukpokertour.com/live/index.html mine are the ones with smileys and spelling mistakes :)

Had a really great time, thanks to GUKPT for the opportunity, Flushy for showing me Brighton, all the players i met who sympathised with a busto mug, and the people who helped me out one way or another. Now lets back to the grind.......



p.s. In answer to the comments, thanks to the well-wishers im addicted to poker in a (hopefully) healthy way and am definitely playing again. I'm a winning player that needs to slow down the partying and ridiculous spending. I need to work really hard on resisting games that are too big for me. I need to stop playing online MTT's all the time, they sap your confidence.
Cash is King.

To get back ill be sticking my fingers into a lot of pies (iv recently been asked to write an article for a leading poker mag) , working on a buliding site doing some labouring (gets me in the sun for a couple of days) and playing a whole heap of low stakes poker. Backing will probably be my only route back down this path but i may have something in the pipeline :)

See ya round, keep reading. If i can get enough i might be able to put up some filthy advertising of sorts.

Busto, bollox.

Ah well, time to get that CV brushed up.

Feeling sick, poker is being a grade A cunt to me at the moment. Everything is going wrong and the bankrol is disastrously short, really regret pulling out last weeks winnings. So many times today some eeeeeyoring cocksucker re-raises me with some KQ marginal shite and outdraws me. ALL THE FUCKING TIME. Iv realised why check raising me with a shitty 7 high flush draw is such a gr8 play, coz it always fucking comes!

I started keeping note just to reassure myself im not doing anything wrong.

This hand had me close to tears. End of a rough night where iv seen my CL blown in 3 comps from different pricks trying the same donkey moves on me then hitting some 2-3 outer fishmug hand.

$5k rebuy, JJ v 22 in SB BB battle. Deuces make 5 high str8.

$7.5k rebuy, AA v AK, AK hits trips on K high flop. Later, KK v AQ on Q high flop. Standard that the A comes on the turn.

Last 35 of the $7.5k $100 fo and im 10th or so on 13k. Blinds are 200/400. Utg big stack limps along with 2 others, i have no information as iv just joined the table. I limp with Jc10c on the button. Flop comes J7c3. UTG bets out, like 800 into a 2k pot. Other limpers fold. I now put him on an overpair and call hoping to hit a J or 10. Turn comes Kc. He now bets again, small again. I now call praying that i can ding a club (i think he poss has a set of kings/AA). River, magic, the Qc.
He bets big now, im now certain he has a set and iv got a hidden flush, i jam. He has Ac9c for the completed runner runner nut hand. FFS. He is betting into 3 others with Ace high!!!!

20k $100 FO. AA v 1010 pre, standard 10 on flop. Later, AK v AQ bingo Q.

20k $10 rebuy, I do $80 getting it in ahead EVERY FUCKING TIME before quitting.

4k fo, KK v JJ for More chips than top 6 put together, J on river.

6k FO, Aces 1st hand, i shove coz i KNOW there will be some prick with 66 or whatever, sure enough, 2 callers. Both with shitty medium pairs. Obv one of them makes a set.

So, possibly my last stint online tomorrow night, fuckit. MTT poker is basically the same as buying a fucking lottery ticket.

OK, poker post.
Been chatting to a few good players lately and the standard on VC is now generally considered to be so bad that elegant moves and semi-bluffs are having an extremely low success rate. Never has patience and discipline been so valuable an asset. Had a good week so far but it should have been better. Bubbled the 6k final table when amatay was railing me and had 2 good runs (into the last 50) in the 20k but no scores. My biggest downfall lately has been making too many moves late on.
Im going to try this weekend to work on efficiency and tightening up my hand requirements significantly. I bleed a lot of chips in the early rounds calling with speculative hands in early position. Whilst i appreciate that in the early stages of an MTT it is of vital importance to get your hands on the dead money's chips, it is only profitable when done from the backside. Too many times lately i have called utg with KQ and small pps only to fold to a bet later on. When you consider that every chip saved is amplified heavily in your future all-ins it is of paramount importance to be tight early on in ep. Efficiency is what im terming bet sizing. Making exactly the right bet to do the job, whether it is for information or value, making the perfect bet is from now on my sole aim. Every bet will be prepared in a vacuum.
Im going to stop bluffing. I assessed my bluffing success rate last night and found that less than 25% of my bluffs are getting through. Nearly all my big bluffs failed.


The most important thing iv learnt this week is big stack/big stack chip stack management confrontations. When you raise in late position with filthy stealing trash and another big strack calls you, im instantly figuring out how to outplay them. The thing is, out of position, its extremely hard. I usually donk off a lot of chips because ppl know ill bet for them. From now on, whenever any big stack gives me postflop grief, im playing small ball unless im big.

I just found a site on a blonde thread that is real funny. http://www.poker-edge.com

Strongbad991 Loose Aggressive bomb. :)

Which, incidentally is what all the pro's are..................must be doing something right.

So, im off for a bit of a swim (cant work out at the moment as a trod on a nail) before a nice meal and a night off the tables before caning it on Sat and Sunday for hopefully a big weekend.

GL all, see you at the tables.

Seriously frustrating evening. I must have written good 2000 words in the chat boxes tonight. Frequently cited words included donkey, fish, mug and future wsop champ. The play online in the small stakes $30-$50 SnG's is positively disgusting. The MTT standard is even worse. 8 way limpathon pot, flop of AJK, BB thinks nothing of check raising all-in with A9 into a raiser and 4 callers. This is a STANDARD play.
Try a steal with 98suited, get re-raised for your entire stack when ur near CL in a comp and then CALL OFF UR STACK- standard.
So many mugs, so little time. Won 4 $30 SnG's in a row today, didnt even do anything special, just thought about OTHER PLAYERS cards which is at least 2 levels above this lot. Im thinking of giving the fort knox challenge a go on VC. Basically you have to win 6 $50 Sng's in a row (6 seater) and you win $190k. Catch is that the rake is $9 per game, a bit steep methinks. Also, i reckon that thats where the stronger players have migrated to.
We shall see.

Im currently playing a tonne of comps every night, particularly enjoying the higher stakes rebuy comps where the fields are smaller and move making has a better chance of getting through. Havent had any succes yet but i wont bore you with the bad beat stories, uv heard them before im sure. Hoping that i can get a couple of decent wins this week, improve my roi in the $50 SnG's and then maybe treat myself to the green joker poker festival side events. Would be a good craic (apologies for cheesey crap).

I know how much effort i put into labelling myself as a loose aggressive maniac, but tbh im anything but online. Why should i need to be?

OK, prime example of donk play. $30 rebuy and im sitting pretty with 15k. I make a (rare) steal from the cutoff with 4d3d. Button and Bib blind call. Flop comes as good as it gets (kind of) 5d6dKc.
I represent AK as i want all the action in the world here, knowing i can either outplay them or hit my 15. I bet, both call. Turn comes 2clubs. Jackpot. Check, i bet, button folds, BB shoves in a massive checkraise coup that has me thinking am i beaten?. Nope, instacall. This guy has done that move with KJ no diamond. Send it.

My game is feeling really strong at the moment, my reads are great, ppl are min raising me all over the place and generally iv come to the conclusion that poker players in general are utter mugs.

Get in, won the 7.5k gtd for 2.7k, feels like a hundred grand.
Wont be playing cash for a long time however, need 4 more results like this this month and you can keep ur day job. :)

Kept changing gears on the final table bubble, then got caught with my hand in the till with Q2, then subsequently got AA and KK next orbit whic obv got me paid. When down to 5 i knew they were laddering so opened with a2c like the book says and made some nice re-steals that actually got through. Feeling better already.

Its been totally shite so far. Came 15th in the 7.5k last night. Tonight has been a disaster so far. In the 100k i lose a 10k pot with KK v JJ. I then lose a massive pot in the 20k with KK v 1010 and 66(?)

Running really badly. Mut my patience and play have improved. Just made a quality representation in the 7.5k rebuy of trips. Holding 102 in the SB just me, the SB and a passive button. Flop comes 66Q. SB bets, i know he's not good enough to lead with a strong hand so i flat call, button comes along too. Turn makes a flush draw available. SB bets weak again, i flat call, button flat calls. River comes a K. SB checks, i bet 1/2 the pot, Button uses all his time and the both pas, obv to inflate my own sense of importance i show.

Come on, tonight im getting a result!

Doing shite. 13 comps so far without a cash. Not loooking good. Have yet to go deep in any.
Running really badly and my instincts are off. How do you play JJ in the blinds when the blinds are 200/400 and you have 4000 to a middle position raise from a solid player?
Im beginning to think you should just muck it.

JJ and QQ have been my exit hands form 7 of the comps. All against overpairs or AK, always with me jamming preflop, never calling. And then when i finally do get a hand it gets utterly crushed in some 2% coup. Fuck poker. Gotta play some more, eventually the best hand wins/i dont run into AA right?

MY tournies have started. 18 hours of pure MTT madness. If ur online and wanna say hi, its alexander_martin@hotmail.co.uk , link me on msn. Lets collude :)

Preparing.

Ok, so since coming home iv been 6 tabling 1/2 cash with a lot of success, until yesterday. I was playing super aggressively, which was working on nearly all my tables until yesterday when i tried to take the easy Aussie money at midday. So sick. I spun $200 on 1 table up to $600. Then i thought, ok, iv been going really well on this table and can afford to take a shot with this tables winning in a bigger game. So stuck the full £300 on a juicy looking table of $3/$6. Got a feel for the table then this hand. Dealt KK in the BB. Guy makes it $24 to play UTG, 2 callers, everyone has deep stacks. I make it $100. 1 caller. Flop comes 458 two spades. Not ideal. I bet 1/2 the pot, he calls. Turn is another King. He checks, now the pot is $600 so i jam. Cunt has called a re-raise pre with 67spades and aint going anywhere. I then get shown a very good bluff on one of my tables and BOOM. Tilt kicks in. Drop 4 buyins and 3 days of hard work is undone.

But on the bright side the roll is better than it was, and the standard of MTT player on Ipoker is shite. With that in mind im planning on playing two 18 hour poker sessions this weekend, on the Saturday and Sunday evenings. I reckon i can play 60 odd MTT's and should be able to get a score or two. With that in mind if anyone has any really neat tips to give me i dont already know about please tell me now. As always, you know the names Strongbad99 on VC, drop by, say hello. Ill give a post on the entire sessions on Sunday morning and Monday morning.

Time of my life. Warning, long post.

Without a shadow of a doubt this has been the sickest weekend iv ever had. Even taking into account some monsters @ uni, for variation and fulfilment im happy as sin at the mo. And all this whilst only having £2 large to my name.

All started on Friday night with the fancy dress party in Southend. What nice ppl. About 30 of us went down, the missus went as wonderwoman and Jesus she looked fine. As Capn Jack my cronies were Superman (Robbie, also his B-day), 5 as an American footballer, Paul Brennan as an Ompa Lumper (sp?), Kris staggy as a Gladiator, Nicholls as a Pimp, Ian (nice to see you m8) as a Priest, Nick smithy as Maverick, Steve as a bouncer (unoriginal m8), Emma as Alice in wonderland, Joe as Naughty Santa, Robs sisters m8's as Pirates, a Beefeater, Little red riding hood and loads of others i'v forgotten. Seb, you woulda had a ball. So we go to Yate's at 8pm. OMG. No one wanted to be the first one in, so iv grown a pair and gone for it. The entire fking pub turned round. BUT, the southend locals were genuinely nice and i got lots of offers of Rum all night, along with shots from Oli (my appointed chaperone- respect for that m8).On Saturday, i had to let the missus drive the motor home as i was so fked. Went to the Blonde Bash after a bit of kip. Kinboshi luckily had offered me a bit of bedspace, which was a result as i was otherwise gonna kip in the car. Poker bit over early, coz, tbh, who gives a monkey. 2nd hand. Kings, table makeup is awesome, everyone iv ever tried a big bad move on is here. I raise UTG. Tikay re-raises all-in. LOL. Bloke on the button calls off his 3k stack at 25/50 blinds. LOL. I dont pass kings @ Luton. Up against AK (Tikay) and QQ. Q on the river and im done for. Chips pleeeeeeease. Reload. 8 limpers on my button at blinds of 100/200 and i have A10s. Ship. Button utters the immortal line (im really apologise if i bad beat you) Get looked up by A9 and KQ. Flop of A9 and i can get on with the important task of drinking.

I have about £40 in my BB. Luckily i pull off a few dares and spin it to £60. I then have a last longer with Turny with me backing M3boy and him (obviously) backing Rookie his son. £10. I lose coz M3 makes the kind of pass you make in a £250 event. :) its ok m8, the pass was fine.Time for the HU games, by now im getting really on it, but pulling it off well. I destroy my opponent when she calls my ludicrously large overbet with aces with KQ. Sadly my teammates performed craply. 77Dave was blatantly too busy checking out Rhowena Colclough (?) to bother folding K10 on a 10 high board. ~Ian Expressman and Justin turner performed like shite. And thats being nice. So £20 @ 14-1 down the pan.

Then i met my online nemesis (lol) in the shape of Portfolio. What a nice bloke. Really gave me a couple of good ideas on how a poker life should be lived. Met his wife PFFA who was a really nice lady. Then (ROFL) i met Paul Parker. I was introduced as "this is the guy who thinks ur a donut for passing second set", by erm, myself. Told you i was in bad shape. Spoke to the guy for about an hour, what a nice bloke. Told me that the biggest problem facing young players is the stress they are under to play higher. LOL, i wish, i cant even beat $1/$2. But seriously, it is have when you hear about the Ben Grundy's and Mafews of this world. Incidentally, there was a (blatantly) big private game going on at which there was a young guy who some asshole told me was Ben Mafews. Started chatting to the guy later when the final was being played and got on with him pretty well. Had blown all my £ by then but got a real bit of luck. Dean the cardroom manager comes over. He thinks im JP Kelly, its fucking hilarious. I tell him i would love a couple of comlimentary beers (Iv found out by now Mafews is some colluding little essex boy who goes by the name of Sunday8pm and has made a few quid, though obv not in Mafews (im made of money league). Dean starts to resist but then i mention how much rake iv done in there over the years. LOL, although i have done a lot. He comes back and im whinging about how broke i am. HE says something like "JP, uv got loads of money". Im wankered now and tell him how iv been coming here for 2 years, am FAR better looking than the guy and could only wish i had 10k in the bank, let alone 500k.

Bens mates Coca and Chiprich are in the final, hu with about 20ppl around him. Chiprich has MASSIVE stacks so i decide to kill 2 birds with one stone and destroy his stacks (which incidentally i did to everyone i knew under 25 all day long, Flushy, Rookie it was ME). I tell Chiprich 8om did it, and Ben gets the shit for it. Must have taken Ages. LOL. Im a real mess at this stage and go and have a chat with Porty on the house poker game. Steve Vladar and Bad Girl are there. Now it all gets a bit idiotic. I comment how nice it must be to have a poker playing GF and then go on to say how all cheating wives are cunts. Not the most sensitive idea given the Colclough incident (which i was way too pissed to even remember). Got some really dodgy looks from Steve. I apologise.

Dealt some SnG pissed for a bit, passing Delboy's chips to Charmaine (m3's missus) when neither of them were looking and generally was an ass. But is was all taken in good spirits. Then had Barry Neville prove to me that he really can throw a man 5 metres from when they are lying prone. LOL. Flushy was licking ass all night, must be nipping em :)Went back to the Hotel room and got bought a beer by DaMatrix, cheers bud. Then had a relatively funny incident. Me and Coca decided to get on the wine downstairs and by the time we went up he had forgotten what room his mates were in. 501 was the answer we got. So we start banging on the door and some bird called Tantrum we met earlier is definitely in there. Spitting voice image. So i keep knocking, telling her i want sex and all this bollocks just so we can nick their wine. Bird gets really irate. Its not Tantrum. Security are called and this middle aged african lady says she's gonne report us to the fuzz for sexual harassment. Shite.We go downstairs and talk shit for ages before is breakfast time. Im starving so eat a lot. Quick 2 hours kip and im home.

On Sunday the missus takes me out to London for a belated B day prezzie. Wicked day. Spent the monring in London Zoo chekcing out the gorillas etc in the sunshine, keeping an eye out for any young blokes eyeing her up. Went for a nice spot of grub and then to see Wicked at the Theatre. Im like a little kid at shows and had a really ace time of it. The set was amazing and the Wicked witch had a voice that you wouldnt believe. Great story too.And to top it off yesterday i got taken for a shopping spree before coming back and builing a vegetable patch. On the back of Thailand life really is rosy.